- When in doubt run (If you are in stilettos, God save you girl. Else wait for available superheroes)
- Get a sense of local geography. Keep a map in handy if you are highly prone to get drunk/stoned/both
- Get a hang of public transport and routes if you are travelling or moving to a new place. It helps not to be a lazy bum who only sticks to using cabs
- Master the art of walking fast in Brownian motion (Theoretically , it helps if you have a slender frame as it minimizes drag)
Bangalore, May 2004
I was in Bangalore for two months for an internship with two of my friends– Rathi and Apu. One of the weekends we decided to hang out in the evening ( I think it was some birthday celebration thing). So we go, gorge at some restaurant , have one of those girls night out kind of time and finally decide to head home. It was slightly late and it was getting difficult to get an auto. We finally managed to get one , told the autowala where we wanted to go and went back to our random conversations . Now women chattering away have a habit of losing sense of time and direction which we soon did , not to mention our severely limited knowledge of Bangalore geography. I suddenly realized we were travelling in the auto for an unusually long time .I poked Rathi to check the route with the autowala ( she is a fake half kannad woman who can only count till 10 but nevertheless the most qualified to converse with our shady autowala). He muttered something incomprehensible and before we realized we were inside a dark alley with not a soul around. Our highly suspicious autowala stops, jumps out and vanishes inside what looks like …err..a house with pink curtains leaving the three of us quite baffled about what is it that we should do. Apu is the first one who notices the pink curtains, I mention that I find those pink curtains incredibly shady, while Rathi thinks we should run ( smart she is I tell you, that fake half kannad woman). Apu was the one who was most averse to the idea of running , I thought it wasn’t a particularly bad idea plus we even save on the auto fare. So there we were , three girls running in a dark Bangalore alley one summer night. Rathi was the fastest , quite commendable given that she was the only one in a skirt. Apu was the pessimistic one who kept telling us running would be of no use since the autowala could catch up with us in no time. We ran till we reached what looked like a main road, got another auto and reached home while giggling hysterically all the way , much to the consternation of our new auto guy:)
Yeh dilli hai mere yaar!
JNU, New Delhi ,March 2005
It was my final year in JNU and the season of hostel festivals. The JNU campus is incredibly huge and vast areas of the campus are under natural forest cover. Outsider entry is somewhat unrestricted and sometimes results in security issues although the campus brims with life till late night (Night life at JNU is also one of the most incredible memories for anyone who has been a part of the campus). I was attending a dinner and dance night at one of the hostels and decided to take a stroll down the ring road ( the road which circles the entire campus ) with two of my friends. It was late and a lot of the security was diverted to the hostel festivals leaving some other parts of the campus unmonitored. We were walking along a particular stretch which was quite desolate and the only populated area was the campus school area which was somewhat ahead. One of my friends –a strong , well built Punju girl was telling us about a self defence course she recently took from the Delhi Police. Suddenly, a car comes and stops near us with some drunk ,jeering Delhi brats. While we try to ignore them and walk faster , the car does a U turn , goes back and a while later we could hear its screeching brakes to turn back again.
Two of us turn to our Punju friend reassuredly:” Hey, you took the self defence course didn’t you?
Punju friend:” Yea, I know, but girls, right now..JUST RUN!”
My other friend suggests hiding in the bushes. We overrule it completely , you might just end up landing on a cobra’s tail for all you know.
So there I was , running again on JNU roads , hoping we could beat the car and reach the school area ( which we did , or maybe the brats decided not to drive all the way)!
The Italian job
Milan, June 2006
I was in Milan for a couple of months on work and I would take a trip off to see some place in Europe every weekend. This particular weekend I had gone to Barcelona and was returning back to Milan. When I reached the airport in the night, I realized there was a taxi strike and the only way to get to the city was the shuttle which would go till the Central railway station. I was so used to taking the cabs to work and back that I had completely ignored on exploring the public transport system in the city , especially the subway. So I took the shuttle and reached the Central Railway Station. I realized there was a subway station nearby , but had no idea how to get to my place. I figured the best way would be to reach the Piazza Duomo (the square in the heart of the city) and then walk back home from there. I found the subway station quite empty, partly because it was late and partly because there was a soccer match that night. I noticed two men (who looked very Indian to me) loitering around in the station. They got in the same compartment of the train I boarded and got down at the Piazza station with me. I realized I was being followed but fortunately for me I knew the Piazza very well. I also knew there would be a huge crowd at the square to watch the soccer match on the giant screen. This is a perfect situation for what I call the Brownian motion walk – walk extremely fast with high degree of unpredictability in direction. Once I reached the square, I lost myself in the crowd and the two blokes as well and a while later walked back to reach my apartment safely:)